During my first few sessions with a new client, I have them fill out a few worksheets asking some basic questions so I can better gauge where they are on their health journey and where they want to go. As a fitness nurse I pride myself in caring for my clients as a whole rather than just focusing on their illness. We take time to explore their mental health, spirituality, sleep, nutrition as well as movement. These worksheets act as a guide for me as I help navigate a path to living with a chronic illness. One of the topics that continues to circle back, one of the things that keeps showing itself in conversations, is the discussion of self-worth. Living with chronic illness can changes so many different aspects of our lives and this can directly reflect how we feel about ourselves. 

                    Changes in income can leave us feeling less of a provider for our family, changes in physical abilities can impact activities we used to enjoy doing with family and friends, at times we need help completing basic daily tasks leaving us feeling like a burden to those we love and chronic pain can break down our mental strength leaving us feeling agitated, angry and frustrated. These examples are just the tip of the iceberg.

The first thing I share with all my clients is that these feelings are valid and should be acknowledged. And I follow that up with an activity where we write the phrase "My worth matters" and we place it on the bathroom mirror to be seen throughout the day. I truly feel that we are so much more deserving then what we allow ourselves to believe. 

                    So today, I really want to talk about why knowing how worthy we are, and how special we are is such a game changer. The topic of self-worth is really for each and everyone of us, regardless of our life journey. And I really enjoyed going through this reflection because it allowed me to 1) extend myself grace for some of the things I have put up with and  2) it also allowed me to just think back on how far I've come. And I don't think we do that often enough.

                                              Laurie Harvey said "Just remember, that you are the prize!"  I just love that! 

                    We all love to believe and feel that we consider ourselves worthy and of value but it doesn't always reflect in the way that we carry ourselves and in some of the things that we allow into our lives. My relationship with self-worth continues to evolve and change with me and it's almost like a muscle. As that muscle has gotten stronger overtime I've seen the positive impact that this has had on my life, versus the times when I had little self-worth. I can remember that and look back on those things and when I ask why did I let this happen? How did this play out this way? Why was I so exhausted in that season? It was truly because I didn't consider myself worthy of anything greater, of a greater love, of a greater job, of grand dreams. This is why I really wanted to get on here and write about this today because I think subconsciously, we don't really realize when we are moving in a space of feeling unworthy in ourselves and that's so important that you understand when that's taking place.

                     One of the definitions of Self-Worth is "the internal sense of being good enough." The first thing that stuck out to me in that definition is "internal sense." Internal meaning within, meaning the opposite of external which is where we naturally go to seek validation and to seek understanding of how worthy we are. We usually look outside ourselves, but the truth is, it was never really up to outside factors to determine, establish or validate our worth to begin with. It was never the way that person treated you, it was never that job or promotion that turned you down, it was never the dollar amount in your bank account, it was never your relationship status, or your diagnoses.  It was never any of that. It was always YOU who defined how worthy you were.  "Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." People should never have the ability to decrease your power and when they do its when we've given them to much. Our worth and our value is something we own.  And that is a hard concept to get in front of, but oh so very powerful when you do!

                    What I realize is that the way we allow people to handle us is a direct reflection in how much we believe were worth. It's truly a reflection of how much we love ourselves in that current moment. And I go back to what I mentioned earlier: that self-worth is like a muscle and I can directly recall things that I used to put up with in relationships, in the work environment, in my friendships. And when I think of today's time it's a no for me now. And its hard and scary to make big changes and take a leap into the uncomfortable but know that you are worth it! That muscle is stronger and I never say never but I strongly doubt that what flew in the past would fly today. Because yesterdays price for me is not today's price and I can say that with all the confidence in the world, out loud, in this space because I truly believe that I am worthy of the greatest things this life has to offer and although sometimes I may forget, once I'm reminded the way that I move in spaces, the way that I move in work, the way that I move within my relationships. It's all completely different based on the simple fact that I consider myself worthy. And when I try to understand why do I have this new found confidence, why do I have this new found level of self-worth? It's truly because after years of intently work, years of intently healing. I finally value myself and love myself because I know who I am, and I know what I stand for, and that Lupus is apart of me but does not define me.  If we just take a moment to think about some of the stuff we've endured, some of the things we have settled for. And let me just clarify something, I am not just talking about relationships. Self-worth really applies to all areas of our lives. Know that your not asking for to much! I truly think that being in spaces and with people where worth and respect are present at the highest levels is far greater than just checking a box of saying that you got the relationship, or you got the job, or you got the business. At the end of the day, what's most important is that you have yourself! 

            To wrap this post up I want you to just take a moment to really forgive ourselves for some of the things that we have and still allow into our spaces. I think some of us need to forgive ourselves for not seeing just how worthy and how valuable we really are. And when I sit here and think about this, part of me feels a little sad because of what I know I have allowed in the past, because I know I haven't always carried myself in the best way. But the other part of me is so proud, proud of the new direction, proud of the journey, proud of the fact that I'm finding her. Finally. That worth, that value, that love. it's seeping out and I hope that if nothing else, this post serves as a reminder that you don't have to do anything to your worth, IT"S ALREADY THERE. 

All my love, 

Katie

RN, CPT, Wellness Coach